Kira Nelson

We made it! The last frock today and last chance to donate. Thanks to Kristi for being such a frocking legend and signing me up to your team. I have been blown away by the generosity of you amazing people - thank you so much for your support, you are the best! I miss my mate Robyn so much, she would have bloody loved all the frocks. I’m also sorry that my kids have not had the opportunity to know their Auntie Mandy, who sadly died so young. Now, thinking about doing Movember…

According to the BOM, it’s supposed to be pissing down with rain. Not sure how much to trust them these days; their recent attempts at rebranding have gone about as well as Kanye’s reputation and career. The ‘Bureau’? For real, as if the Australian public were going to let them get away with that sort of wankery. Anyhoo, it’s sunny not raining and I’m onto my eleventieth load of washing and I’m wearing a lovely flouncy fun frock and I look like a deranged ballerina circa Black Swan.

Oh look! Another green frock! Where will it end? Had to do another forage through the Wardrobe of Lost Things because yesterday’s sunny day was sent just to taunt us, and it’s back to grey skies and boots and tights. Which I actually don’t mind so much because what with the ironing, the selfie taking, the accessory matching and The. Endless. Social. Media. Posting. not having to shave my legs is a massive win.

We are heading into the home stretch and I have been hoping for a sunny day so I can move to summer frocks. Kudos to my friend Kristi, who has been Frocktobering for 11 years, raising in excess of $60k. It’s fair to say we are both suffering from the CBFs #cantbefrocked and are looking forward to next week when we can return to normal programming: wearing pants and not caring about social media, and in my case, not accidentally flashing down at the IGA.

27 days straight of selfie taking and just worked out how to use the timer on my phone. Still have not worked out filters (obvs), but turns out that standing in front of a window sort of helps. Recently at work we discovered the soft focus function on MS Teams and I’m not ashamed to admit there are days when I scroll that button so far to the right that my face looks like that of a Real Housewife of Somewhere Superficial, with the smooth forehead of Nicole Kidman and the cheeks of a newborn baby

Yesterday I gave myself whiplash by running over the hem of my dress with the wheels of my office chair. A bright colleague suggested I tuck my dress hem into my undies. Today I am wearing another long dress, and I thought to myself ‘you’ve got this Kira, no nasty accidents today’ and tucked my dress up in my undies. At lunchtime I went to the local IGA to pick up some things for lunch and I STILL HAD MY DRESS TUCKED INTO MY UNDIES.

This lovely dress is from @misterzimi. It is a gorgeous colour and style, however I just learned that it is not the frock for one to wear when one is working from home, because one just skidded one’s office chair forward, rolled over the hem with the chair wheels and I think I have just given myself whiplash. 💯 should come with a warning.

Here is an exceedingly poor lift selfie. It’s a shame that all that is visible is the gazillion bags I am carrying and not the lovely @elkthelabel frock I’m wearing. Sadly, probably 95% of the functionality of my phone completely eludes or baffles me, and I am sort of looking forward to returning to using it as, you know, A PHONE, come November 1. I really should have sought some remedial lessons from the resident teenagers, but I fear that might have made any ongoing relationships untenable

Not enamoured with the colour of this frock on me, it feels positively Dickensian. I fear I will be eating gruel for dinner. And probably should after the last two days of preprandial, prandial and postprandial Prosecco and matinee-theatre mixed lolly scoffing.

I am feeling decidedly grandma-esque today coz I drank too much Prosecco last night at the dinner which was not my fault coz the waiter accidentally set fire to the menu and threw it in the ice bucket containing my half drunk bottle and set the bottle label on fire so then he replaced the half drunk bottle with a full one and because I am a woman of a certain age who grew up with privileged white person guilt about any kind of wastefulness because of Bob Geldof, yeah I drank too much Prosecco

Bit of a dilemma today. Tonight is my daughter’s valedictory dinner and the dress code is ‘cocktail’. Whilst I am eminently experienced in drinking them 🍹🍸, I don’t usually dress as one. Have made a sacrifice and shaved my legs, but #forthesweetloveofbabycheeses must I wear heels? I’m banking on all the other parents getting hammered as we celebrate the end of school fees, and no one will #mumshame me for choosing comfort over any semblance of style. Also, surprisingly, it’s not all about me

An office day today and you will note that I am not wearing the seagull brooch from yesterday, as I am planning to be nothing but sunshine and happiness and will probably not crap on anyone. Brooch today is made from Japanese kimono material; not quite sure what this signifies in the ‘brooch diplomacy’ handbook, but will possibly eat sushi at lunchtime.

A FROCK OF SEAGULLS! Yep I bought this dress so I could make that pun. Poor old seagulls get a bad rap. Perhaps best known for stealing chips; often used as a derogatory slur for consultants who fly into an organisation and crap on everything. I might start wearing this as a subliminal message for colleagues, and the public in general, to signify when I am displeased and want to (not literally) crap on stuff.

Today is Imogen’s 18th birthday. I did consider making her bed and cleaning her room as a birthday surprise but then I thought “yeah, nah”. That caesarean and months of excruciating breastfeeding and no sleep: my job is done, she should be cleaning my room.

This morning I attended some training with some colleagues, which required us to wear heavy duty orange overalls. Some of us looked like glam lady tradies, personally I looked like the Fifth Teletubby (we shall call her Tena Tinkle)- the one who nearly had a traumatic toilet incident trying to wrestle her bingo wings out of her overalls. I’m SPEWING that I didn’t get a full length picture of me in my kit and my clown boots, so you could all marvel at this magnificent vision.

It’s a balmy 21 degrees so I’ve retired the tights and busted out this lovely frock from @nancybirddesign.
I’m sure Imogen will be horrified as I need a spray tan stat, however I cannot be dealing with that level of self maintenance, it was enough that I depilated the legs. For all your sakes, I have cut myself off at the knees lest you all faint at the sight of my lily white shins.

A quick post tonight as I’m heading off to a comedy show. There are some rules about going to comedy:
1. Never sit in the front row
2. Never leave your friends out on the pavement (looking at you @marina1mac)
3. Never heckle the comedian unless you are 100% sure you are funnier - otherwise you are just an arsehole
4. NEVER BE LATE
Wearing an @montaigne_paris frock (exactly the same as the green and blue ones, except not exactly because: is clearly red)
Brooch by @evassunday.linen

I’m a bit knackered this evening. It’s been go go go, because my daughter Imogen (she of #ffsmakeyourbedimogen fame) is turning 18 and having a party tonight. Frankly, I’m ready for her guests to leave, except they haven’t arrived yet. This frock is from @seasidetones_aus and I love the colour but I do think I look a bit like a giant musk stick…or perhaps a packet of musk sticks. Send thoughts and prayers for the night ahead!

It’s Two-Frock Thursday to make up for my non compliance earlier this week.
Today I’m wearing an @elkthelabel dress over a @decuba dress from a few years ago. Alas, I fear that double frocking has made me look like I have the shoulders of an international rugby player, luckily not with the cauliflower ears or broken nose, and regrettably without the sporting talent and consequential paypacket.

This dress is from @montaigne_paris and is exactly the same as the green dress (except not ‘exactly’ because it’s clearly blue 😳). One not only requires multiple green frocks, but one must also have multiple colours of one’s favourite frocks - I have this in 4 colours and I totally stand by my choices and I won’t hear anymore about it, the end.

Not feeling too flash today so no frock. But here is an accurate depiction of how I look, my beloved bringing me cups of tea and my loving children plumping up the pillows and reading to me while I delicately eat the chocolates they so thoughtfully provided. Will make up for todays non compliance with a 2 frock day later this week.

I know this challenge may seem an easy one - no hiking, running marathons or, God forbid, giving up the booze, but I have forsaken my WFH attire of tracky pants, which is a sacrifice in itself. A teal frock from the archives today. Teal is the colour for ovarian cancer and stands for Tell Every Amazing Lady about ovarian cancer. I have paired this frock with ugg boots because, frankly, giving them up was not a sacrifice I was prepared to make.

I am suffering writers block today so along with this photo I posted one of the most unattractive photos ever to Instagram. I hope that my humiliation inspires people to donate to this worthy cause!

Well a deeper exploration of The Wardrobe of Lost Things led to the discovery of yet another green(ish) frock. Honestly I’m starting to think I might have a problem. It makes about as much sense as Boris Johnson’s haircut (and his political career).

Today I’m suffering a bit from the CBFs #cannotbefrocked. This dress is perfect for an afternoon of binge watching Derry Girls and eating my entire body weight in lolly snakes.

I love this frock from @olgadepolgaclothing, it’s so forgiving. That’s a strange way to describe a frock. It sounds like I have gone to The Wardrobe Of Lost Things and said “bless me Wardrobe for I have sinned, I drank three gin and tonics and ate a whole bag of crisps”, and the Wardrobe has responded “you are forgiven dear child, and here is a frock with a beautiful pattern and sleeves to disguise thou bingo wings”
This post brought to you by #needcoffee #mightbehallucinating

A very poor bathroom selfie because I made a special guest appearance at the office today, then went straight to the gym and realised I’d forgotten to take a photo and that I would be too sweaty and gross to put my frock back on afterwards. #soz!
My frock choices so far have been dictated by what I can wear with tights because: #cannotbefrocked with shaving my legs. Alas, I think that by the end of October in Perth I will have to forego the tights and then #watchoutworld

This is one of three frocks of almost identical green hues that I discovered during the Audit. Why does one need three green frocks? This is a question that Robyn would have never posed. Every time she came over she would ask me “what have you bought recently?”. She loved a good wardrobe perv and was the most fabulous enabler. Without fail, she would most gratifyingly justify any of my excesses - “of course you need all three Kira, they are suitable for many different occasions!”

#frocktober2022 Day 4.
Last night I went to see Bill Bailey, who was absolutely hilarious, but it was a late night for a school night, and it was hard getting out of bed this morning. Hence, today’s lewk is brought to you by #cannotbefrockedironing.
I had forgotten that I owned this black dress and even though it has been stashed in the Wardrobe Of Doom for a very very long time, it did not require ironing which positively makes it a keeper, despite it’s lack of pockets.

#frocktober2022 Day 3
Here’s another frock from The Wardrobe Of Lost Things. I swear Harry Potter could be living in there for all I know.

#frocktober2022 Day 2: Today we are off to our friend Suzanne’s annual footy tipping group get together. Need to wear team colours and, at the risk of alienating a good proportion of you, I confess I am a Collingwood supporter. link in bio to donate.

Righto let’s do this! #frocktober2022 day 1: Welcome to Travels To The Depths of A Neglected Corner of My Wardrobe. I have a very inadequate and poorly lit wardrobe, which has resulted in many, many, many things being completely forgotten in its dim, dark reaches.Leading up to Frocktober, I decided to do an audit. The pandemic limited my opportunities to wear frocks, but apparently not my opportunities to BUY them. Anyhoo, here is Frock 1, 30 more to follow…